Saturday, October 28, 2006

Dumb Blonde Jokes, Plays on Words, and a Copter Game

This post is just what it has been said to be above.

Dumb Blonde Jokes, Plays on Words, and a Copter Game

So let's begin, shall we?

Yes.

No.

(Please select your preference)

Let the Dumb Blonde Jokes begin!

A readhead, a burnette, and a blonde were riding a rusted out truck in the middle of a desert, exactly 100 miles away from civilization in any direction. In fact, it was a wonder the truck hadn't died out by then. As it turns out, the truck died on them from a lack of gasoline. They got out of the dead truck, the redhead bringing food, the burnette bringing water, and the blonde struggling with the truck door. "Help me get this thing off!" she said. The redhead and burnette looked at each other, and said in unison, "Why?" The blonde replied, "Isn't it obvious? We can carry this with us, and when it gets hot, we can roll it's window down and cool off."

A redhead was driving her car through the country, when she saw a blonde in a canoe, trying to paddle across a cornfield. The redhead pulled over, got out of her car, and shouted, "What are you doing?" The blonde in the canoe shouted back, "I'm trying to get across this river!" the redhead shouted back, "It's a cornfield! Get out of that canoe!" The blonde replied, "But I can't swim!"

Two blondes were sitting on a bench about 100 miles away from Florida, talking. The first blonde said to the other, "Which do you think is farther away: Florida or the moon?" The second blonde, somehow amazed at the stupidity of the question, turned to the first blonde and said "Hello! Can you see Florida?"

A police officer stopped a blonde for speeding and asked her if he could see her license. She got angry and replied, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

There was a blonde who was walking next to a river. She saw another blonde on the opposite bank. She shouted to the other blonde, "How can I get to the other side of this river?" The blonde no the opposite side looked up the river, then back down, and shouted back, "You ARE on the other side of the river!"

A redhead went into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "That's insane!" said the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere and anywhere she touched caused her to scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "No," she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. He glanced at the car, and was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. Realizing that she was not paying the least attention to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

Let the plays on words begin!

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Copter Game Competition

Guidelines:

1.) This is strictly a fun competition...you do not have to play.

2.) You have 10 tries...any more then 10, and I will remove you from the competition.

3.) If you are participating in this competition, please leave a comment recording your high score out of 10 tries.

4.) Due to the nature of this competition, the winner will not receive any special prizes, save Winner Recognition.

5.) This competition is only valid until Thanksgiving 2006, due to the fact that most of you don't check my blog every day.

Copter Game

My high score was 760 (sorta low compared to what Dad or Anderson could do.)

As always, thanks for visiting my blog!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

My high copter score so far is 844!

Anonymous said...

paul-791

Anonymous said...

Anderson high score is 2926...I am an Elite!!!!BEAT THAT!!!

Jeremy Stockwell said...

My 10th try, I got 1026 -- I've very impressed with Anderson's score! Wow!

Jeremy Stockwell said...

1908 -- Anderson is KING!

Anonymous said...

1481!!..........Oh, and anderson is NOT king!

Jeremy Stockwell said...

3276 -- crown the new King!!

Tyler Reynolds said...

Jeremy......although you got 3000 whatever I am afraid that that doesn't count.....which would make Anderson (of all people) very close to winning...somebody stop him! 1 more day!

Anonymous said...

1900! (My highest score)

Tyler Reynolds said...

Okay...out of the 5 contestants...here is the scoreboard.

In last place was me with 760.

In fourth place was Paul with 791.

In third place was Jeremy with 1026.

In second was anonymous with 1481.

AND THE GRAND WINNER IS......

Anderson with 2926.........

Big surpise.....until next time!

Anonymous said...

i have a confession to make, the "anonymous" was me with 1481
but that wasn't my high score . it was 1900. thank you.

Paul said...

by the way tyler, you should have more of these contests.